♥ ♥ Where you are is where I want to be.And through your eyes all the things I want to see. in the night you are my dream. You are everything to me. ♥ balsamic vinegar it's only the surface.. ♥♥♥♥ ♥needs. ♥
to disappear.
to be alone. ♥wanna watch. ♥ ♥Destinations. ♥
Switzerland
Koh Chang Island ♥myheartbeating. ♥
♥Applause. |
Monday, February 8, 2010
this week will be a crucial week for many...i guess. for me...it will be a week of tests...and preparation for the new year. im feeling so evil and random these days... i know i shouldn't be harbouring such thoughts.. think i have no more control. i think really badly of everyone i see...be it stranger or people i know. most of the time im amused by myself..sometimes people laugh with me. boyfriend stealer..what kind of whore gave birth to shit like you? don't you ever change out of that shirt? god..you have so limited clothes i can predict what yor gonna wear.. and what..what old socks you have...yor toes are playing peekaboo garbage. anyways...V'day is about six days away... i may have to postpone mine... lol well..although mr perfect don't exist... there's still mr average. you don't care if it hurts.... and im almost over you.. i will not love again.. 就像来不及需愿的流星，在怎么美丽也只能是曾经 Thursday, February 4, 2010
what's an eye sore..is every happy couple that pass my way. haha..no..im serious. it's hard to admit..but everything about you just amazes me. even when yor not all that awesome. in my eyes..you are perfect. i like to think i will be happy again. i wish i could scream at you, and just show you what you do to me. Wednesday, February 3, 2010
on my way to school today....i encounter some really fat shit. im going to say...it's horrible. i won't say much but what really grind my gears is: -smelly uncle. im not scared of your bulbous bulging belly...just don't come near me... just why do you have difficulty controlling your wobbly lardness?!!why!! -fidgety aunties i don't mind seating beside you...just keep your wrinkly elbow to yourself!!! -bitchy girls that speak/laugh loudly...repeatedly what the hell is wrong with you?!godd..it's so difficult to live with this kinda...idk... i can still hear that Dongg yakking away even when i bloody blast my mp3! tskkk that's why i hate public transport.... anyways...im quite worried for this coming March... everyone's talking about their 21st birthday... i don't know what's gonna happen to mine... i definitely want mine out of singapore...there's nothing worth remembering here... there's a few suggestion... my mom was saying about going to either Japan or Korea.. Daniel suggested resort at Bali...but i was thinkin of Phuket.. i was actually also thinkin of a simple picnic or dinner at some majestic place.. with a few close friends... sigh...but if anything.. confetti and balloons is compulsory okay ..? im starting to hate my birthdays...im not ready! im soooo sad. :( Tuesday, February 2, 2010
  Dinner was a little special.. it came unexpectedly goood :)    if yor wondering what's that golden brownish thingy... that's the crispy egg white on top and it goes really well with the soup... slurrrrps  that's the serious me diggin in my soup lol  that's him waiting for his food... besides the soup...we ordered the Breaded Salmon and Lamb Burger..Nutella and Butterscotch milkshakes...  this is his.... i tried some..and the texture of the salmon fish was damn good.. crispy and crunchy when you bite..smooth and soft on the inside..it just slides down my throat...  and this is mine...simply délicieux and for dessert we ordered Nutella Tart and Hot Banana pudding   wooo~...glossy :D  Drenched in caramel and it comes with a scoop of vanilla icecream :) it's warm..and moist...i like the combination they also sell cupcakes..and look how cute! seating there on display...   "mmmmm..looks creamy...maybe next time " i was so full to a point that i couldn't stand up straight.. omg...and after dinner..he took me for a game of bowling good idea. the place was quite empty...when we got there... i like :) peaceful.    "must have RED BALL!"  okay..i lost like badly...and on top of that i chipped my nail!!! #$%*!!@!!!!! merci beaucoup :) i picked the hermit. i like this short story "...An old hermit walked around the village and the area day and night, and even in daylight still carried a lit lantern. One day the villagers had enough curiosity to ask him "Sir, why do you carry your lantern lit in daylight?" He said, "Because I'm searching for an honest man". nowadays...liars are all over the place...every corner outside. I retreat..stayed away...i reflect..and understand. refuse to come out of isolation to share my knowledge with others. i tried to reach out..but got burnt. i don't want to get myself hurt again.. feels like everyone is out to hurt me.. i am going back..i will stay in. i am afraid...weak... my heart , still fragile. i hate you everyday of my fucking life... i hate you for making me cry..and to wake up every morning losing you all over again. i hate you so much.....but i hate myself even more..for lettin you do this to me. operate me , cut me open like a helpless white rat in the lab... why would you do that to me? and im lonely enough to think of this every fucking second of my life. Saturday, January 30, 2010
  28 jan 2010 yeow wen turns legal he was celebrating it down at Costa Sand Resort on the 29... went with Daniel.. i made beef patties and sandwiches for them and Daniel present him a bottle of Martini which he planned to mix with lychee and some peach tea and to get everyone drunk... lol well, when we got there..we only saw birthday boy and 3 of his buddies.. so we were early...we settled down..started BBQ-ing... i like to BBQ with my friends... it's so fun..sadly i barely get to BBQ. :( the BBQ was great...there's a vast range of food..and i superr!! love the bacon asparagus the most!! it was damn blurdy satisfying.. then more people came...we started playing cards..watched Sharkman as we play -.- ughh..lame show. then Daniel start his drinking game....he designed this game called "the circle of death". using poker cards only..and it was fun.. it's not just his bottle of Martini...Xia Jun came with a bottle of Chivas..omg.. and we got more to drink... in the end..me and gui xiang went to sleep first.. lol!! whaa..damn sian..in the end im the most lousy one..  Happy birthday! :) Tuesday, January 26, 2010
yay! class ended at 3.16pm off to buy some pretty box and my prune juice. Some really random stuff.. blogging in class again.. can't wait for tonight's Asia Gags Just For laugh... hahaha...i just like that kinda prank show. anyways...the whole of yesterday i survived with just cherry tomatoes and soya milk. also a handful of pineapple tarts...god! fuckinguilty. so,todays gonna be just soya milk and plain water. weekends i ate too much...way more than the amount im suppose to eat.. i didn't even stop to take pictures of my food at the Restaurant.. remember, i mentioned earlier that i was going to have my advance reunion dinner with Family.. i think it was an eight course meal..i still love the kou rou bao there.. "someday , will bring someone i like there ..." after dinner we went to Suntec..and my mom bought me a pair of really cute shoe :) happy! Sunday...was even more interesting my dad brought us out to eat fishhead steamboat..before sending my brother to Bedok camp. what happened was another family was also eating the same thing..and was seated just opposite us..but what made me notice this family out of the lot is this cute boy. while waiting for our food to come..this guy caught my eyes again..and he saw me too.. he stood up and walked towards our table several times...enough to let me notice all his cute features. i swear..he's damn cute! he's wearing this SP shirt..so i assume he's from SP, but......it's kinda weird to like someone you saw for the first time...and i bet i will never see him again... im just puttin this down because i don't wanna forget him. "i forget people without knowing" god..what's wrong with me...this is bad..he might be some really bad guy that tries to toy with girls feeling.. sounds like a fucking sicko..that's got nothing better to do. :/ on a random note...i used to be very nasty..and looked down on people that are of lower status or is really stupid.but love made me realized that i was wrong..i can fall for a beggar/lardass/retard for all you know. but reality made me realized that... this is a rich man's world..and love is nothing if there's no money. So what is love? nothing. Eventually i will have to leech on someone really rich..for the rest of my life. i can't have best of both worlds can i? it's only a good and comfortable life with no love/one-sided or love like crazy..but wears off in poverty. you have to choose. it's still quite alarming for me to digest this.. that i've actually gave love genuinely to something that is barely acceptable..and got nothing in return. i took every ounce of courage i saved and was ready to run with someone i love.. i believed. i was filled with hope. i thought i found happiness.. i was a fool. that love, died before i could fathom it. it felt like he stabbed my heart with a huge smile on his face. not a single trace of apology found in him. felt goood. fuck you there's no ending. talk is cheap.... love is nothing. money is still practical. sigh...the song Happy by Leona Lewis made me ___ again. the words just got stuck in my head. the video speaks for itself. im not a victim! Monday, January 25, 2010
how cool is that if the brain selectively erase unhappy memories.. i wish to erase all my memories...of you. ________________________________________________________________ 两个最好的朋友。 最近我才发现。。我遇到不快乐的事。。 我只想找你。。 抱着你哭 只有对你们。。 我才哭得出。 朋友。。 原来最后还是你。 值得我叫朋友的, 值得我回想的也只有你 你的好我都玲记在心。 这段时间，我了解了不少。。 明白我错过的 可能太迟了 可是我还是想 给我们的故事一个美丽的结局 回忆里就不会有遗憾。。 那时，应为我 我们受了不少苦 现在我终于懂了。 照了镜子，再说面子 ___________________________________________________________________ i think it's important to be consistent and not just forget or leave it to collect dust. in goals,friendships and whatever possible. it's funny that im bloggin now,when im supposed to do my slides. honestly,im just running away from my task and i couldn't blame anyone. but if i were to speak for myself..i would say..my team member sucks. A few days back, my dad lectured me. It was very rare of him to be so serious.. We don't usually talk much about my affairs. Or should I say..I don't think he knows me at all..as a father that lived with me,because we don't communicate much... But when he was talking..I felt sour...that's because whatever he said was true..and there were tears around the corners of my eyes..I tried to hold it back...as usual trying to be strong. you have no idea..how weak im. He was aware of my relationships with others was bad/rotten and he said...i have to change..and maybe just take things easy. I mean.. I know what's right to do and whats wrong to say...obviously. but it's so hard to control..I just want to be myself. but the world..everyone is being fake. I don't want to succumb to them... but fuck...the only way to be successful is to be accepted. It is just sad to know that all the people i used to know..were all fake. For good or bad reasons,you still have to admit..you're fake... at least for those that i've met after secondary school.. i can never understand why people have to be that fake.. or purposely stir up trouble for some people..gossips..rumors.. and just make things really difficult for naive people. Nevermind...so what if i am unhappy? everyone else still benefit... so what if i die?...no one knows.. maybe i cared too much... anyways..after that talk with my dad.. i realized i was too afraid to open up with strangers..and i have shut myself away for too long to create a normal relationship with people around me..and maintaining it.. i decided to...think less..see less...and just be there for the sake of being there. i won't be fake...but i will just choose to not say.. however,i will still pour out my true feelings and release my true emotions here the only space i created for myself... over here...i won't hold back... just to clear the air.. -i will be very transparent with you if i like you.. -and those that i don't mention at all are insignificant -those that i insult are just some amusing people i met that you might want to read about and nothing else. -those that i hate..well...they are not worth my time..so naturally... i won't even talk shit about them.. so what if it hurts me? 你爱不起，我也输不起。 Saturday, January 23, 2010
I LOVE CNY!! apart from the steamboats, yu sheng, red packets!! and gambling we also get to enjoy the good ol heartwarming family gathering, pastries and some tasty treats like bbq pork..ohh i just love it..like it's very addictive...i just like the atmosphere...everyone's happy..which give me no space to feel sad at all. it's just once a year...so might as well make it happening.. yes..i do have those competitive Aunt that wants to compare almost about everything..that don't know when to stop..it's annoying but i will just let them be..since it's only once a year (in my heart i will be like"just fucking give me the money"no.no such thing..im just joking.).. lol  Anyways..Dad came home last night with packets of this.. Mmm...BBQ pork...!! i especially love those that is slightly charred at the edge.. Mmmmm! extra glossy,extra sweet..and extra oily. okay....im guessing that i will give up my whole work out regimen and stuff myself with all these candies..nuts..pastries..you name it. oh god..why do i have to be fat...why aren't i born skinny. i wonder when will i be firm with my goals.... haha well, Cny is right around the corner ...14 Feb to be exact..collides with Valentines Day..that's good.. it's a good thing for poor old single you....laugh out really loud. anyhu... tonight we had this advance reunion dinner held at raffles city..somewhere...how can i forget the name after going there twice.. so imma gonna go prepare. my hair..gives me hell..all the time! currently listening to this..Daniel's favourite.. i just die a little inside everytime i watch this jerk..to watch someone you love go with someone just isn't anything happy. 3.20 the bride is not her...felt like....i could die just watching that part. virtue my ass. don't say victim don't say anything i just want to be......happy. appréciez vous a oublié cela je suis votre quelque chose et vous sont mon tout vous avez oublié que je suis votre quelque chose et vous êtes mon tout je t'aime pour toujours adieu Thursday, January 21, 2010
That day... 17 January 2010 Sunday my partner surprise me by asking me out to west coast. he didn't state clearly on what kind of activity we will be having.. but i was thinkin of cycling.. and he kept me in suspense throughout the whole journey.. i liked that...i like surprises...    hahaha... moron & Daniel. you know...when i saw that we were going to ride on one of this cool thingy i was damn happy luh... it was always me that bring people to see new stuff.. now it's my turn... and it was like the first time he introduce me something that i really don't know... i think. lol anyways... it's pedal go-kart .. it's totally new to me ok.   "ohh..that was so fun!" yarh...the vid is very blur...and was i struggling?... i thought i looked uncomfortable LOL  haha....i like my skin.. fair is good... tanned skin is....okay. nah~hell it's not okay..! who wants to look like chao tah ..haha! at least not for me.  Daniel was complaining to me the whole time..that he is very chao tah..and to cycle under the sun is gonna make it worst...but that's really inevitable..isn't it? especially when he have to spend most of his time on the road..he cant avoid the sun...and so i said to him "i will do whatever i can to help" lol ahhh..anyways..i will be honest..i really hate tanned people..especially those beach girls clad in bikinis and maybe boys..attention seekers..you know what...i hope you get skin cancer..and die real fast.. if not i hope your skin turn crispy and fried damaged and just burn in hell!  "???"   the place is really nice... reminds me of my childhood. my dad used to bring us here very often..when i was younger... we would run about and conquer the playgrounds ..it was so much fun.. play until we forgot about the time     some serious work-out. lol    there! that's what i used to play...but it's bigger and better now. :(   "*roll eyes*..pervert!"  Some of the Artistic shots ..(attempted lol)  ugh.. "it was so beautiful..the colorful flying kites up in the blue sky"       This is Dinner and im guilty.  anyways...before dinner we went to walk around the park.. and guess what we saw....? a beauty! a snake! this is what happened...we were making our way out of the park i was busy talking ...then Daniel interrupted me " what's that! did you see?" i heard something..but i thought it was just a squirrel or something..so i look around..and saw this looooong black tail..then as if it noticed us..it quickly went to hide..so i followed it.. as i was doing so..Daniel slowly followed behind me...i think he scared ..haha..and there were 3 bangalahs entering the park....they were talkin so loudly and gaying around..then suddenly the snake just glide across my path...just right in front of me..without warning..it was damn long uh...solid black..and glossy..a beauty..and the bangalahs..they saw..and all three jumped..and screamed with their hands up high..! LOLOLOL..damn funny luh.. i was just really captivated by the snake..i wasn't scared at all..then the Bangalahs U-turned...they just run away... LOLOL!!.. then Daniel hesitated ..he was afraid the snake will attack us if we move...but i just walk out ..and he called me crazy... uhh...that's about the whole day.. Wednesday, January 20, 2010
11:11pm some believe that when you check the time and it shows 11:11 it means someone is missing you. it happened to me today. twice. tu me manques superstitieuse Food again. 11 January Monday.         everything was good... cept for the egg tart & xiaolongbao. Egg tart fail. Just one of those days.... 10 January sunday     Out to celebrate his friend's birthday...they picked a place called Arnold's which specialty is Deep Fried Chicken. like KFC..just better in taste and portion wise.  this is what i am talking about....   so much for fasting :S felt superrr guilty.... act 一个 cool.  our favourite shot of the day. lol anyways after dinner we went Cuppage continue our night activity. just some 3 hours K session... i fell asleep.. i don't feel like singing.. they were really high and funny..but the songs they sing are all so depressing.. haha... exhausted. |
